I have asked this question every day now for three years. The thought of it had never even crossed my mind prior to the ultrasound that changed our lives forever.
They say that if you have fraternal twins, it’s hereditary and is passed down from the mother’s side of the family. But as far as we know, nothing like this should have been passed down on either Lisa’s side or my side. So, how did we end up with them?
The first two years were so rough with them - especially with a toddler a mere 20 months older than them in the picture as well. It hasn’t been ideal. We’ve missed a lot. We have A LOT of regrets. We’ve been in survival mode for almost three years now, and I’m exhausted.
Too many people have told us that “God doesn’t give you more than you can handle”. They’re wrong! That’s a myth. Nowhere in the Bible does it say this. The origin of this saying is taken out of context. It’s a lie that well meaning “Christians” keep touting in desperate attempts to encourage people who are drowning.
Having three kids under the age of two was too much to handle.
We lost friends. We lost jobs. We lost our house. We lost our church (if that’s not irony, I don’t know what is!). We lost money. We lost our health. We lost our sanity.
Then there are those people who know my whole story already and tell me, “I don’t know how you’re doing it... I could never do what you’re doing!” To which I reply, Oh really?!? I didn’t know I had a choice!
I love Madison and Ethan. More and more every day in fact. But I’m not going to sit here and put an Instagram filter on it and tell you that they’ve been “a blessing” to us.
It hasn’t been easy, and contrary to all the advice and encouragement we’ve been given, for some people life DOESN’T get easier. We just get stronger... smarter... more resilient and develop new and hopefully better coping mechanisms. And can you call that thriving? Can you call that living your best life?
No! What I call that is “too much to handle”. But I won’t give up. I have three kids and a wife who need me. So, I’ll put on another bandage, drink another energy drink, play my favourite song and burst into Monday like I own the week!