My day began in the rough today. I double booked myself and had to have a conversation with a very good friend and colleague and explain to him that I couldn’t fulfill the commitment I had made to him. This is not like me, in fact I don’t think I’ve EVER bailed on a commitment like I did this morning. And knowing that, has been eating me up now for days! I had hoped he would see it my way in that I could still complete 95% of the tasks ahead of time, but he didn’t. It was an all or nothing deal for him. I could hear the frustration in his voice when he asked what could possibly be so important that I would have to back out of this commitment.
The answer is family. My brother-in-law planned a spontaneous “guys weekend” in Vancouver for my father-in-law, brother-in-law and me. I was so excited and shocked that he would do something like this, I just said yes - not even realizing I had already committed my time to someone else. It wasn’t until I was booking the hotel that I realized I had something else up that day.
I’ve tread water my entire life but recently it has felt like I’m an inch under the water more than I’m an inch above the water. Situations like this confirm it as it was hard for me to breathe all day today.
And then I decide to launch my Facebook page and blog today too. I’m at a point in my life where I’m either going all in or immediately fold with every hand I’m dealt. It’s extremely risky but I feel like that’s the only way I’m going to be successful. I’ve played the safe middle ground my entire life - maybe because the other times I have gone “all in” I’ve lost. Badly.
It’s now my time, I have so many life changing ideas, so much knowledge and so much passion. I can’t give up. It’s impossible for me to give up. Just in me launching this blog tonight is proof. Another brand to manage. Another idea. But I believe in it. I have a story. I have a lot of stories that I feel need to be told.
In some ways I regret that I’m almost four years into parenting already and I’m only doing this now. I tried a year and a half ago, but didn’t have a clear vision of where I was going with it. I was depressed, angry, bitter and the little bit of content that I created showed that.
It wasn’t the right time. But I think now is.